The Hair On The Head of the Body of Christ

I thought about what an undertaker had told me once - that your hair keeps growing, for a while anyway, after you die, and then it stops. I thought, "What keeps it growing? Is it like a plant in soil? What goes out of the soil? The soul? And when does the hair realize that it's gone?" -Ed Crane in The Man Who Wasn't There

I got to see this film for the first time, a few nights back, and this analogy has been scratching at the back of my mind ever since. It may not be completely thought out, but I'll risk it.

I've been thinking lately about my beard. It's getting to be longer than it has ever been and I am increasingly fond of it. It isn't vanity, but I find myself fascinated with this mane of hair coming out of my face and down my chin.

One of the things that fascinates me about it, is how much it feels. I discovered something similar when I began shaving my head. Just one hair left unshaven can make me keenly aware of the wind that's blowing.

And yet, as soon as it's cut off, that feeling ends. Ed Crane gives voice to this during one of his sessions in the barber shop. How this hair that is a part of us gets cut off and thrown away and then isn't any good for anything except the trash heap.

And I think about how the more cut off from Christ I am, the less I feel. I think about the times in my life when I put distance between us and how dead I was, how little growth I experienced.

And I think about that hair that grows even after it's dead. How it almost doesn't even know it's dead, it just keeps growing and thinking it's getting somewhere. How long it takes before it realizes that it's gone.

And I think about Jesus talking about the vine and the branches:

"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. -John 15:1-6

And I think about how we always talk about heaven and hell as if they're rewards and punishments and wonder if they are more simply a matter of choice. If we cut ourselves off, thinking we can grow on our own, and see that we are growing for awhile, and think that means we're still alive. If what we call punishment is actually pruning and what we call hell is what happens when we refuse to be connected to something real and alive.

I know that's been true for me. The moments when I cut myself off were the moments I came closest to dying. The times I tried to grow my own way were the times when I began to wither and die.

But the times when I have sought connection with Jesus Christ, the true vine, even when pruning felt like punishment and refining happened by fire; those are the times when I have produced the fruits of the Spirit -love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, fathfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Those are the times when I have been most alive.