"I define comfort as self-acceptance. When we finally learn that self-care begins and ends with ourselves, we no longer demand sustenance and happiness from others."
I should begin by saying that I might be taking this quote out of context. I came across it while surfing the intertron. I should also say that I get the point that we aren't meant to be co-dependent and devalue ourselves.
But I still feel that this is so often the place where the self-help industry and Christianity part ways. Because I am dependent (see previous blog). Self-care doesn't begin or end with me. One of the many reasons I follow Christ is because I can't take care of myself. Or, as Dylan put it, "we're idiots babe, it's a wonder we can even feed ourselves."
This isn't meant to be a shot at the self-help industry, but at the "self"ness it can often produce. I'm not self-confident. My confidence is in Christ at work in me. That doesn't make me fearful and anxious, in fact, it does just the opposite. I'm not trying to be all I can be. I tried it. It sucked. Now I'm just trying to let God work in me, to let His Spirit produce good fruit through me.
I'm not denying free will, I'm not advocating dependency in the mentally unhealthy sense. But I'm also not advocating the idea that the best thing I can be is myself. I don't think that's true. And I get up everyday praying that God will make me less like myself and more like His Son.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Storm Front Coming
"Suddenly all is good cheer. Whatever troubled him is gone now...All gone. This is a feature of his outlook I have not expected. He can forget and be happy - a real strength. A good meal is waiting somewhere. A TV game. A beer. Clear sailing beyond the squall-line of life. It isn't so bad, when you don't think of it." -from Richard Ford's The Sportswriter
There are few things sadder to me than our attempts to ignore what confuses us, makes us anxious, what we don't understand, what we fear. Whether it is death or God or the future or consequence, whatever we might not want to think about or face; it is made all the worse by our unwillingness to face it. And, worse than that, the way we "amuse ourselves to death" in the hopes that whatever it is that's out there might just go away. But ignoring the squall doesn't bring clear sailing, it just increases your chances of drowning when it comes. Certainly, we can go the other extreme and fret about futures we cannot control, but that doesn't excuse our trying to fill every moment with another distraction. Good for us if we can live in the moments we're given and enjoy every sandwich, but pity us if we redefine ourselves from moment to moment, filling up the seconds with meaningless whims, with whatever shiny thing captures our attention at that small space in time. Let's instead choose to do the hard work of being thoughtful in all its forms, developing the character that steadies us for rougher storms ahead.
" Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ."
There are few things sadder to me than our attempts to ignore what confuses us, makes us anxious, what we don't understand, what we fear. Whether it is death or God or the future or consequence, whatever we might not want to think about or face; it is made all the worse by our unwillingness to face it. And, worse than that, the way we "amuse ourselves to death" in the hopes that whatever it is that's out there might just go away. But ignoring the squall doesn't bring clear sailing, it just increases your chances of drowning when it comes. Certainly, we can go the other extreme and fret about futures we cannot control, but that doesn't excuse our trying to fill every moment with another distraction. Good for us if we can live in the moments we're given and enjoy every sandwich, but pity us if we redefine ourselves from moment to moment, filling up the seconds with meaningless whims, with whatever shiny thing captures our attention at that small space in time. Let's instead choose to do the hard work of being thoughtful in all its forms, developing the character that steadies us for rougher storms ahead.
" Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ."
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Friendship's Realest Measure
"What's friendship's realest measure? I'll tell you. The amount of precious time you'll squander on someone else's calamities." -from Richard Ford's The Sportswriter
A Prayer and Blessing
May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, and peace. May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain to joy. And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Celebrate Your Dependence
BE INDEPENDENT
It sits there, in bold typeface, across the front of my red t-shirt. It's a clever play on words, encouraging those who live in Austin to support local, independent businesses. Since I work at such a business (and am a fan of local business, in general), I wear this shirt proudly.
I also like the other side of its double meaning; break out, think, do your own thing, don't be owned by "the man".
But I'm also struck, every time I put it on (and this just shows I think too much) about how much this shirt ISN'T me, or, at least, isn't who I want to be.
I am never more struck by this than on days like Independence Day. Because I'm reminded that I live in a society that values independence above anything.
And, as a Christian, I'm an advocate of dependence. I'm a believer in "trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." I've experienced the truth of "a cord of three strands is not easily broken." I'm defined by being "built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone." I am, in fact, owned by "the Man", and am grateful for it. And one of the eternal truths I declare by being baptized into the Body of Christ is this...I cannot do this alone.
So, last night, I gathered with a group of friends from Immanuel and BookPeople and other connections around Austin, I gathered with my parents and with my sister, I gathered with my wife and with my son, and I looked around and was reminded that I cannot do this alone.
Last night I looked up into the sky to watch fireworks and was struck by the display of clouds and sun going on behind it, the beauty and majesty of all that God has created and was reminded that I cannot do this alone.
Last night I gathered in the presence of God and humanity and nature and thanked God for my relationship with each.
Last night I celebrated my dependence.
It sits there, in bold typeface, across the front of my red t-shirt. It's a clever play on words, encouraging those who live in Austin to support local, independent businesses. Since I work at such a business (and am a fan of local business, in general), I wear this shirt proudly.
I also like the other side of its double meaning; break out, think, do your own thing, don't be owned by "the man".
But I'm also struck, every time I put it on (and this just shows I think too much) about how much this shirt ISN'T me, or, at least, isn't who I want to be.
I am never more struck by this than on days like Independence Day. Because I'm reminded that I live in a society that values independence above anything.
And, as a Christian, I'm an advocate of dependence. I'm a believer in "trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." I've experienced the truth of "a cord of three strands is not easily broken." I'm defined by being "built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone." I am, in fact, owned by "the Man", and am grateful for it. And one of the eternal truths I declare by being baptized into the Body of Christ is this...I cannot do this alone.
So, last night, I gathered with a group of friends from Immanuel and BookPeople and other connections around Austin, I gathered with my parents and with my sister, I gathered with my wife and with my son, and I looked around and was reminded that I cannot do this alone.
Last night I looked up into the sky to watch fireworks and was struck by the display of clouds and sun going on behind it, the beauty and majesty of all that God has created and was reminded that I cannot do this alone.
Last night I gathered in the presence of God and humanity and nature and thanked God for my relationship with each.
Last night I celebrated my dependence.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
A New Model
So, while I like to use this blog to talk about life and faith and church, I don't often use it to write specifically about church planting; mostly because I assume that the actual act of church planting might be interesting only to those who are church planters or hope to be.
However, the experiences and conversations over the past few weeks connect to church and faith and life enough to put them down here.
First off, a few weeks ago, I got a coach. His name is Glenn, he's a really nice guy who will tell you when you're about to really get something wrong (or how to fix it when you already have). I like these kind of people very much. Glenn was church planting when church planting wasn't cool, so his willingness to coach me is a God blessing.
A church planting coach is just what it sounds like, someone who has done this before, is still doing it, is passionate about doing it, and can show someone else how to do it. So, a few weeks back, Glenn I sit down and he says "you know, they call where you are 'the church planters' graveyard'?"
This, of course, excited me to no end. I love to hear that those who have gone before me have died doing this. He went on to say that I probably find it fairly frustrating to read church planting books with chapter headings titled "Creating The Perfectly Authentic Worship Experience", given what I had already shared with him about what it was we were up to with our approach to being the church. I agreed that, yes, I did find this frustrating. Then he smiled and said, "that's OK. The problem is that you're a part of creating a new model. No one in church growth is really doing this. It's sort of like building an electric car."
Now, to someone a little more daring, this would sound exciting. But I don't really have the personality to "boldly go where no man has gone before." I like having a working model that's been road tested a bit. For me, this is just scary.
But where, 2 years ago, fear would have gone right past giving me pause and stopped me dead in my tracks, faith has me pushing forward in the midst of fear. Believing that the one I follow really did walk on water makes it easier to go out into the deep end a bit.
Faith is a big part of this, but a community of faith is a big part of that. Walking and working alongside folks who aren't seasoned professionals, but are willing to tread out with me has been, and continues to be, an amazing adventure. As we say at Immanuel "we don't promise an easy journey...just people to walk it with you."
So, today I thank God for this opportunity. I thank God for those over the many of thousands of years who have done far crazier things out of a desire to follow God's lead. I thank God for being present in the process, through His Spirit, His Word, and His church. I thank God for a wife who said "sounds good to me" when I first started talking about this. I thank God that my son might grow up knowing the version of me willing to take risks as a sign of faith and not the version who used to talk more than he walked.
And I thank God for making life an endless and interesting conversation. For the things I'm learning and the things I have yet to learn. For the mistakes and the challenges and the unknowns. I'm getting used to the unknowns. I'm getting to like them. And I thank God for that too.
However, the experiences and conversations over the past few weeks connect to church and faith and life enough to put them down here.
First off, a few weeks ago, I got a coach. His name is Glenn, he's a really nice guy who will tell you when you're about to really get something wrong (or how to fix it when you already have). I like these kind of people very much. Glenn was church planting when church planting wasn't cool, so his willingness to coach me is a God blessing.
A church planting coach is just what it sounds like, someone who has done this before, is still doing it, is passionate about doing it, and can show someone else how to do it. So, a few weeks back, Glenn I sit down and he says "you know, they call where you are 'the church planters' graveyard'?"
This, of course, excited me to no end. I love to hear that those who have gone before me have died doing this. He went on to say that I probably find it fairly frustrating to read church planting books with chapter headings titled "Creating The Perfectly Authentic Worship Experience", given what I had already shared with him about what it was we were up to with our approach to being the church. I agreed that, yes, I did find this frustrating. Then he smiled and said, "that's OK. The problem is that you're a part of creating a new model. No one in church growth is really doing this. It's sort of like building an electric car."
Now, to someone a little more daring, this would sound exciting. But I don't really have the personality to "boldly go where no man has gone before." I like having a working model that's been road tested a bit. For me, this is just scary.
But where, 2 years ago, fear would have gone right past giving me pause and stopped me dead in my tracks, faith has me pushing forward in the midst of fear. Believing that the one I follow really did walk on water makes it easier to go out into the deep end a bit.
Faith is a big part of this, but a community of faith is a big part of that. Walking and working alongside folks who aren't seasoned professionals, but are willing to tread out with me has been, and continues to be, an amazing adventure. As we say at Immanuel "we don't promise an easy journey...just people to walk it with you."
So, today I thank God for this opportunity. I thank God for those over the many of thousands of years who have done far crazier things out of a desire to follow God's lead. I thank God for being present in the process, through His Spirit, His Word, and His church. I thank God for a wife who said "sounds good to me" when I first started talking about this. I thank God that my son might grow up knowing the version of me willing to take risks as a sign of faith and not the version who used to talk more than he walked.
And I thank God for making life an endless and interesting conversation. For the things I'm learning and the things I have yet to learn. For the mistakes and the challenges and the unknowns. I'm getting used to the unknowns. I'm getting to like them. And I thank God for that too.
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