Here I Am To Worship

t's a fairly regular occurence for a co-worker or friend to ask me "So, how's the church thing going?" For the past month, as we headed towards a corporate worship time, my response had been "I just want it to be over."

What I meant was that there were so many administrative tasks, and I'm not an administrator. There were so many details, and I'm bad with details. There was a lot of pressure, and I wanted the pressure to end.

Of course, the pressure was mostly self-inflicted. Just over a year ago, Rachel and I moved back to Austin to begin a downtown community known as Immanuel. What began as an vision formed into a core group. That core group began meeting for times of fellowship and discipleship in our home. That group began looking toward a time of worship together.

And as that time approached, the pressure was on. The pressure to produce. Produce big numbers, an elaborate setting, hip music, and all while trying to look like that wasn't what I was doing. And all while worrying that I couldn't produce. So, when people asked, I'd say "our first worship time is coming up soon, and I just want it to end."

Shame on me. What I was saying, without meaning to say it, was that nothing good could come of this time unless I pulled off the most impressive of events. What I was saying is that God couldn't possibly move and shape people better than I could. What I was saying is that because I didn't feel prepared, God must be feeling the same way.

Last night we came together for our first time worshipping together as Immanuel. We found a temporary place to meet last week. We barely had time to invite people or tell them where we'd be. We ended up with a fairly small crowd singing familiar songs, praying together, reading the Bible, confessing sin, and taking communion.

It was awesome. What I had forgotten was that initial call. To move back to Austin and begin sharing Jesus with people by sharing my life with them. To invite them into a community of faith made up of imperfect people doing their best to worship a perfect Lord. That's what we did last night. We worshipped God together. And I would guess that He was pleased. Not because I pretend to know the mind of God or because we were a particularly impressive bunch, but because we remembered (I remembered, we didn't all need as much reminding as I did), just in time, that God loves the worship of a people whose hearts are given over to Him. There's probably a lot that we fell short of doing last night. But we came and we worshipped. And I think it was good. As good as we get anyway. I know that the Spirit of God was there. I know that's always good.

Next week, we'll do it again. We're going to give it our best and know that is never good enough. I hope you'll come and join us. I don't even know where we're going to be, but I hope you'll plan to be there anyway. Come join us in worship to the only One who is worthy of it. If you're like me, you'll never want it to end.