Something I've Learned In...

3 1/2 years. That's how long I've been blogging. 3 1/2 years. Not a long time, by most standards, but it seems like a small lifetime's worth of stuff has happened. It seems like even more than that has been learned.

3 1/2 years ago I was about to be married 6 years, now it has been over 9. Harry had yet to arrive (though he was making his presence known to his mother). I was working as a youth minister for an established church in North Carolina.

And I wrote my first blog. It was about the importance of making a lasting impression on our kids, of passing on a legacy of faith within our families. And, in writing it, I came across a statistic that stated the 5 things that parents desire most when it somes to their kids. They were:

1.They longed to understand their teenage children, and they longed to be understood by them.
2.They longed for a close family.
3.They strongly desired outside help.
4.They truly wanted to see their teenagers live a highly moral life.
5.They longed for their teens to have a solid faith.

In that blog, I very "knowingly" stated that these parents' priorities were out of whack. That their number 5 should be their number 1. That I, as a father-to-be with 6 years experience in youth ministry, knew a little something about raising kids.

So, here's what I've learned in 3 1/2 years. That while I still think that #5 informs #4, it is 1-3 that get you there. That, whether it's with dealing with our families or our friends, we can't begin a discussion of faith until we understand and are understood, until we develop a closeness between us, and we certainly can't explore faith without outside help.

Too often, those of us who are Christians forget to follow the model of Christ. To form relationships before we try to force faith. We skip over mutual understanding in the name of truth. We refuse to form faith in community because we're sure we've got it all figured out.

So make #5 a priority, but count on 1-3 to make that happen. And take the parenting advice of twentysomething youth ministers with no kids with a loving and patient grain of salt.

That's just one of the many things I've learned in 3 1/2 years of life and blogging. Keep reading along. And be patient with me. I'm still learning.